Tuesday, May 17, 2016

What are you doing?

“What are you doing?”

How a person speaks is more than just the words that come out of their mouth. Communication includes body language and can change the whole tone of the words. The title of this post can be taken numerous ways and sometimes in depends on the mood of the reader as to which message it delivers. It’s extremely important when writing to provide a picture of how those words should be heard.

First example:

Mother stood in the doorway of the room with her hands on her hips and a scowl on her face. “What are you doing?”

From those two sentences, it is easily implied that the tone is heading into the disciplinary range. Somebody is in trouble when Momma is mad. Oh… but wait… I didn’t say the mother was mad in those two sentences, I showed you.  You can picture the event and almost hear the way the words would be spoken.

Second example:

Mother peered around the door into the room with an eyebrow raised and a half grin on her face. “What are you doing?”

Now we have a whole different feel for the story and sound to that one question. The actual question didn’t change, but Momma’s no longer mad – she’s curious. Whatever is occurring in that room is more than likely funny.

Third example:

Both of Mother’s eyes opened wide. “What are you doing?”

Can you guess the emotion to be conveyed with this one? Shock. Whatever is happening has caught Momma off guard or she thinks the person is a total idiot. She could have thrown up her hands in a stop or any other motion to convey the thought.

Last example:

“What are you doing?” Mother asked.

Hmmm. Well, I have no idea what to assume for Momma’s emotion. The biggest part of writing is to verbally paint a picture. When writing, consider the blank canvas (piece of paper) and determine the best possible words to convey what the picture should be.

So… what are you doing?

1 comment:

-b9 said...

If I'm the sower, we plant the Seed; if I'm an artist, we RITE the symphonies heard Upstairs ☆IF☆ you accept His lead withe orchestra...

Wanna find-out the fax, Jak, in a wurld fulla the 'power of cowards'? Wanna wiseabove to help a 'Plethora Of Wurdz' [POW!] which are look'n for a new home in thy novelty??

Q: But [gulp] can anyone tell me the difference between K2 plus IQ? A: Nthn. In Heaven, we gitt'm both for eternity HeeHee Need a few more thots, ideers, wild wurdz (whoa, Nelly! easy, girl!) or ironclad iconoclasms?

VERBUM SAT SAPIENTI (Latin: words to [the] wise): As an ex-writer of the sassy, savvy, schizophenia we all go thro in this lifelong demise, I just wanna help U.S. git past the ping-pong-politics, the whorizontal more!ass! we're in...

"This finite existence is only a test, son," God Almighty told me in my coma. "Far beyond thy earthly tempest is where you'll find tangible, corpulent eloquence". Lemme tella youse without d'New Joisey accent...

I actually saw Seventh-Heaven when we died: you couldn't GET!! any moe curly, party-hardy-endorphins, low-hanging-fruit of the Celestial Paradise, extravagantly-surplus-lush Upstairs (aww! baby kitties, too!!) when my o-so-beautifull, brilliant, bombastic girly passed-away due to those wry, sardonic satires...

"Those who are wise will shine as brightly as the expanse of the Heavens, and those who have instructed many in uprightousness as bright as stars for all eternity" -Daniel 12:3, NJB

Here's also what the prolific, exquisite GODy sed: 'the more you shall honor Me, the more I shall bless you' -the Infant Jesus of Prague.

Go gitt'm, girl. You're incredible. See you Upstairs. I won't be joining'm in the nasty #@!! Abyss where Isis prowls
PS Need summore unique, uncivilized, useless names? Lemme gonna gitcha started, brudda:

Oak Woods, Franky Sparks, Athena Noble, Autumn Rose, Faith Bishop, Dolly Martin, Willow Rhodes, Cocoa Major, Roman Stone, Bullwark Burnhart, Magnus Wilde, Kardiak Arrest, Will Wright, Goldy Silvers, Penelope Summers, Sophie Sharp, Violet Snow, Lizzy Roach, BoxxaRoxx, Aunty Dotey, Romero Stark, Zacharia Neptooh, Mercurio Morrissey, Fritz & Felix Franz, Victor Payne, Isabella Silverstein, Mercedes Kennedy, Redding Rust, Phoenix Martini, Ivy Squire, Sauer Wolfe, Yankee Cooky, -blessed b9... (mixNmatch)

God blessa youse
-Fr. Sarducci, ol SNL