Friday, February 14, 2014

Keeping Love Alive

Happy Valentine's Day! This is Winter Song by Sara Bareilles/Ingrid Michaelson. It's apropos considering our recent winter weather down south and the holiday we celebrate each February.

As a married woman, I’ve been given lots of advice over the years about how to keep the fire burning and keep love alive. As a romance writer, I’ve had to invent some ways to keep love surprising. Here’s a list of some practical things couples can incorporate into their daily lives.
             -   Start every day with a hug.

            -   Never go to bed mad.

             - Choose to love, even if you don't feel like it.

             -   Laugh together.

             -   Offer a genuine compliment.

             -   Say “I love you” every time you part.

             -   Kiss like you mean it.

             -   Never say no to sex.

             -   Lock the door and turn out the lights (and not just when the in-laws are in the driveway).

How do you keep love alive? What advice can you add to this list?


Carla Swafford said...

Never say no to sex is a guy thing. As long as my hubby butters me up, I won't say no. *wiggles eyebrows*

That reminds me. I need to go to the store for more butter. :-D

Meda White said...

LOL. Carla you crack me up. I've got butter on the grocery list. :)

Louisa Cornell said...

Apparently butter has far more uses than I realized. :) Good to know!

My Mom has always been a rather "Difficult" person to live with, less so now she has mellowed a bit with age.

I once asked my Dad how he managed to stay so calm and loving no matter what. What he said has always stuck with me.

"Sometimes I love her a little, sometimes I love her a lot, and sometimes I don't love her at all. When I don't love her at all I remember what it feels like to love her a lot. And I stay."

Considering they wrote to each other for a year before they ever met, they had one date and married a week later and were married forty years when Dad died I think his method worked. It must have, because my Mom misses him every day.

Meda White said...

Aw, Louisa, I love your dad's wise words. Your mom knows she had a good one. Thanks for sharing.

Aidee Ladnier said...

I totally agree with the never go to bed mad adage. I've always thought that if you were so mad with someone that you couldn't stand to sleep beside them (or feared you'd get strangled in your sleep) then you need to stay up and work it out.

Meda White said...

Ha- Aidee, I never thought about someone getting strangled in their sleep, but maybe I should've. Hmm. I think there's a story there. Thanks for sharing.

Larynn Ford said...

Great advice Meda! Happy Valentines Day, y'all.

Meda White said...

Thanks, Larynn. Hope yours was buttery- um, I mean, romantic.

Cari Hislop said...

I would add:

Remember the Pina Colada song! It's human nature to assume we know someone (especially after we've lived with them for years), but we never completely know anyone. I remind myself of this a lot.

Learn your lover's love language and work every day at making them feel loved (for best results make sure they know yours - and know how you want them to show you love. If you haven't read it, I highly recommend the book The Five Love languages. It changed all my family relationships for the better.

Never assume your partner can read your mind. He won't know what you want for Christmas or if you need a back rub or if you want him to help you do the dishes or bring you flowers or stop the car so you can take a photo. When we first got married I used to get so irritated. I'd say, Oh look Honey at that lovely... And he'd keep on driving without even slowing. When I angrily asked him why he didn't pull over and stop he'd look at me genuinely perplexed and say..."You didn't say you wanted to stop!"
Communication - an art even Michelangelo would find hard to master!

Meda White said...

Great advice, Cari. I do have that book, but it's been a while since I read it. It might be time to brush up on my love languages. Thanks for sharing.