“You have a way of digressing, darlin. Toss this buggar of a blog post in the locker, luv, and follow me to my cabin. I’ve a particular unsheathed blade for you to consider, savvy?”
Blushes profusely. “Not now, Jack. You know I promised a blog for the Southern Magic September Blog Blast.”
Jack leans in until there’s no doubt which blade he intends to use. “I wager me handsome blade these ladies won’t mind waiting until our own blast is over and we’re basking in becalmed waters. Or mayhap they could watch—”
“Belay that!” Shoving Jack into the hold and bolting down the hatch.
Where was I? Blades, you say? Ah, yes. Funny you should mention blades. The hero in my next pirate book, The Rogue’s Surrender, happens to go by the moniker Captain Blade. Oh, and what a handful he is—
Jack screams between the bars. “There’s no denying what you really want, luv!”
Arrrrr!!! “What I mean to say is… oh, stubble it!”
I’m back, me hearties! After dealing with neck issues for the past four years, I had a second neck surgery four weeks ago that provided me great relief. Prior to the surgery, it was a miracle I wrote anything. I’d been dealing with pain 24/7, three out of the last four years. When the pain got so bad I had to bypass lunch and go straight to bed and sleep four hours after work, I got up and wrote. When the noise in my head was so loud that I couldn’t hear myself think, let alone conversations around me, I learned to listen. I learned a great many things. Patience. Longevity. Who my good friends were. You can do anything you set your mind to, no matter the circumstances. You are never alone. And finally, never, never, never, never, never give up!
Yes, the pain of the last four years has disappeared, but I’ve got two new scars, a vertical scar on the back of my neck and a horizontal scar on the front of my neck, to remind me. In time they will fade, but for now they add a little street cred to my genre, don’t you think? ;)
So, in honor of my new look, and our current blast, I’m sharing some pirate threats in THE PIRATE PRIMER, MASTERING THE LANGUAGE OF SWASHBUCKLERS AND ROGUES by George Choundas that include normal blades.
“I’ll cut your weasand.” Weasand means throat.
“I’ll let out your evil soul by incision of steel.”
“I’ll cut out that tongue o’ yourn and watch ye eat it.”
“I’ll come aboard of you and gut you upon your own poop.” Regarding the poop deck. <g>
And my personal favorite?
“I’ll slit the veins of your arms and use your blood to warm me rum.”
Jack has escaped and appears at my side. “Burn and sink me, you sure know a way to make a man lose his appetite.”
“Dearest, Jack. Hands to halyards.”
“Is it possible you mean hands aloft to loosen yer sails, luv?”
“Aye. This blog is done.”
Jack waves his fingers like this… “Man the Captain!”