Captain Jack Sparrow
Back to the Horrarrrr! Peter Cushing, Boris Korloff, Bela Lugosi, Lon Chaney and Lon Chaney, Jr. perfected their rolls so well we believed in Frankenstein, Dracula, the Mummy, and the Creature from the Black Lagoon. To this day, we imitate these nightmarish standards while trick or treating or at costume parties. I once posed as a Vampire Pirate at a writer's retreat. (Nailed it too!)
But I digress... Frankenstein has always been a horrarrr favorite of mine. Poor guy didn't ask to be a jigsaw puzzle put together with mismatched body parts. He certainly didn't ask to have lightning bolts jutting from his neck or to be afraid of fire. Why, even Frankenstein's bride was afraid of his untameable nature. Mel Brooks is the only director who made Frankenstein appear intellectual next to Madeline Kahn's bride in Young Frankenstein. (That's Fran-kun-schteen, to ye what knows.)
Two weeks ago, I had another neck surgery, this one more intrusive than the last. The doctors (because I needed more than one) operated on the front of my neck to remove the broken screws and the useless, previous titanium plate. They also had to replace another disc that herniated due to the unsuccessful nature of the first surgery. When they were done, they stitched me up and turned me over to operate on the back of my neck, where they inserted two rods on each side of my spine to secure discs C5-7 with 6 titanium screws. Apparently, a halo device was used to keep my head completely still during the entire process. How do I know this? I had half marbles on my temples and the top of my head where the halo-like apparatus had been attached.
Aye. I can see you're wondering what this has to do with Frankenstein. Well, I feel like Frankenstein's bride without the gray stripes (thanks to my hair dresser!). I've got a barely noticable scar on the right side of my neck from the first surgery, a 3" incision on the left side of my neck and a 4"-5" incision on the back of my neck. My rogue informs me I can claim these as battle wounds, which is a perfectly acceptable excuse for a pirate, don't you think? He also informs me that all I need are lightning bolts. Sad, but true. I cannot help but be a lily-livered swab about this. Yes, I know the scars will fade and that the important thing is my pain is gone (except for recovery). Alas, my imagination has taken flight, leading me to places I don't want to go. All I know is thank goodness I own a lot of scarves. ;)
The great thing about putting all this behind me is now I can start writing again. Yes, folks. The muse isn't competing with pain anymore and I'm really looking forward to standing back at the helm with adventure and mayhem on the horizon.
Do you have any advice on hiding neck scars?