Sunday, March 25, 2012
REJECTIONS: Is it you?
It's not you, it's me.
Ever hear those words in a break-up, or when someone is trying to soften the blow when they tell you something?
Believe me, it's you.
There is something in you that doesn't resonate with the other person. It can be a personal relationship-What do you mean you don't like me calling you 'squishy butt'?, it can be in business,-so you're saying bootie shorts and thigh-high boots are not professional wear?
This is not about flinging yourself into the abyss of despair--it's about recognizing that if its YOU, that it's not always a bad thing. Not everyone is going to like what you write, what you wear, and what you read. No matter what you do, you won't be able to change that.
Rejection is not always easy to swallow, even if the words are kind, especially in the writing world : Your story didn't resonate--I'm not sure I can represent you adequately....etc. Those are kind. They are not saying things like: You suck--I want to put a fork in my eye when I read this. (can you imagine if you received something like that?-now that would totally throw me over the edge).
What you can control is YOU.
Rejections, while painful, can give you good information. If you get comments like: The characters didn't seem fully developed. I didn't find the protagonist likable. Don't curse...or cry. (Yes, chocolate is acceptable). Take a step back and examine it. Who are you targeting? Did you get more than one person say the same thing? Don't change your story with every comment, but what you can do is take some craft classes, talk to your Critique Partners, get a beta reader (that isn't your best friend). Look at the story with a critical eye. You know your story. If you're happy with it...keep it, if not, change it.
Just because it's you--doesn't mean that it's a bad thing, because somewhere out there is someone who likes YOU--and that is worth waiting for.
So keep writing.
What have you discovered about rejections? What is your best advice.
I am a writer of Urban Fantasy and romance, with a love of strong coffee and cream for late night writing. I adore dark stories with anti-heros and determined heroines. I am represented by Victoria Lea from the Aponte Literary Agency.