But sometimes the opposite is true. Just as we can't stop ourselves from falling in love with someone, I don't believe we can force love or attraction that we don't feel either.
When I was sixteen, I went on a date with a guy I worked with. He was nice and interesting, a couple years older than me--always exciting--and I was flattered that he'd ask me out. I hadn't been harboring a crush or anything, but, hey, you never know, right?
He only had a motorcycle, so for this double date, he surprised me by renting a Ford Taurus--complete with CD player!--to ferry the four of us around for the night. It was fun. We ate at a fancy Italian restaurant, and my aging mind forgets if we went to a movie or what.
But at the end of the night when he dropped me off, I didn't feel any differently than I had at the beginning. I enjoyed his company, but I wasn't interested in a romantic relationship.
The next time I went to work, I heard that he was upset because he spent all of that money and didn't even get a good night kiss. Dubious logic to be sure. It's not like I was a paid escort. And I hadn't expected a big-money evening.
We could have ridden in his friend's car. Or mine.
I'm sure he was trying to impress me, but the bottom line is that I couldn't force myself to be attracted to him. No matter what he did.
Have you ever experienced an attraction you didn't want? Or not been able to summon feelings for a person you thought you should want?