Wednesday, February 02, 2011

Top 10 Reasons You Know You're A Writer When...

You know you’re a writer when….

10. You have a reputation at your day job of being a work-aholic. What other reason would you grumble and talk to yourself as you type on your computer during lunch?

9. You write your child’s excuse for an absence and the teacher begs for the last three chapters. She wants to know how it ends.

8. You stir up trouble wherever you go. A story is only as good as the conflict.

7.You get pulled over for a ticket and the officer finally tells you no more questions.

6. You hear some good juicy gossip and then start thinking of a way to use it in a story. “I swear, your honor, I changed their names.”

5. You keep paper and pen on the nightstand. Did you know your relatives think you have a kinky sex life because of it?

4. You eavesdrop in conversations, swearing it’s research. It has nothing to do with the deep spine-tingling voice or his five-foot wide shoulders.

3. You have problems handling small talk. You’re always looking for motivation in the dialogue.

2. You catch yourself wanting to takes notes while someone chews you out. “She bobbed her head as one hand waved in the air.…”

1.You critique your spouse…in bed. “But, baby, there has to be better reason for us to do it now.”

So tell me what you would add to this list?


Anne Gallagher said...

OMG Carla, that is so funny. I love #9 as I just had to write a note to my daughter's teacher. She didn't ask for the end though.

You know you're a writer when the child asks for something to eat at 5:00 and you say "One minute please" while you furiously type away. When she next asks, and you glance at the clock, you realize it's now 7:30.

Lisa D. said...

Thanks for the laugh this morning :)

You know you're a writer when your MacBook has become a permanent appendage.

Lexi said...

You know you're a writer when your story/characters/plot consumes your every waking thought . . .and most of your dream time too.

You know you're a writer when you can't read a newspaper, or hear a news report, or read a magazine or watch tv without thinking, "Say, that's a great idea for a book!" and you grab your trusty index cards and make notes.

You know you're a writer when you can't read a book or watch a movie without dissecting it. "There's a big plot hole . . . pacing too slow . . . character unredeemable . . . cliche, cliche, cliche."

Great post, Carla!

Carla Swafford said...

Thanks, Anne. Oh, I know what you mean. I swear the kids push the hands on the clocks. :-)

Carla Swafford said...

Lisa, oh, yeah, I know what you mean. They grow off your finger tips. There's fingernail polish on mine to prove it. (I had to paint one key because the plastic coating or whatever they put on it was wearing off.)

Carla Swafford said...

Lexi, it's enough to make a person schizophrenic. LOL!

Paula said...

Since #1 is a question I ask my characters in every book, I think it's my favorite.

You know you're a writer when you go to the Museum of Natural History and forget about the exhibits while you make a list of places there that would be great for hiding a body. (True story)

Laura Hayden said...

You know you're a writer when you're having chest pains and are in the emergency room and you realize the person the next curtain over is a crime victim and you're desperate for paper so you can take notes when the cop starts interviewing the woman. Luckily, I had a napkin and a pencil stub. Oh, and it was just bad heartburn.

EldonHughes said...

This is wonderful. Great job, Carla. Thanks, Heather, for bringing it to my attention.

Oh yeah -- You know you're a writer when you go through keyboards faster than the batteries in the tv remote.

Carla Swafford said...

Oh, my goodness! Paula and Laura! Both of those are wild. AND SO TRUE OF WRITERS! LOL!

Carla Swafford said...

Eldon, welcome! I've never thought of that but so true.

Carla Swafford said...

I love how everyone came up with one or more. True writers!

Please keep them coming.

Gwen Hernandez said...

Great post, Carla. So true.

Anne, I can relate to yours too. I do that to my kids all the time.

Lexi, my husband hates to watch movies with me now. "There's the first turning point..."

You know you're a writer when you actually look forward to the long wait at the orthodontist so you can brainstorm your plot.

Louisa Cornell said...

Carla, this is hilarious! I love it! I think your list needs to go on a t-shirt. I'd buy one!

You know you're a writer when you tell the people in your head to pipe down until your lunch hour at work so you can write it all down.

You know you're a writer when they don't pipe down so you go to the restroom or into the walk in freezer to get it all down on those trusty notecards!

You know you're a writer when even your dogs seem to know that "Just let me finish this chapter." means they might as well go back to sleep!

You know you're a writer when you're in a hotel bar with some friends and the waiter gives you all the "fish-eye" because you've been discussing the most efficient ways to dispose of a body for the past hour! (He sent another waiter over to take our next drink orders!) (Moonlight and Magnolias conference about five years ago!)

Cari Hislop said...

Thanks Carla for making me laugh!

You know you're a writer when you think reworking a single paragraph all day is a fun and rewarding use of your time.

You know you're a writer when you hear voices in your head having a conversation which excludes you. Instead of calling a mental help line you run to find pen and paper to take notes.

You know you're a writer when every time you see a yellow and black hot rod or motorbike you think, Character X would drive/ride one of those! And for the briefest insane think...what if that's him?

Christine said...

Loved this blog, Carla!! Sooooo true. I just had my darling teen say to me, "only you would write three pages to me in a word document to explain how much you love me..." awe, but true.

You know you're a writer when you start reading the obituaries for name ideas.


M.V.Freeman said...

Too funny! I love these Carla!

Carla Swafford said...

Oh, Gwen, that's so true. I actually get upset sometimes when they call my name on time. Geez, how do they expect me to get my thoughts down that quickly.

Carla Swafford said...

I especially like your last one, Louisa. LOL!

Tee shirt? I would have a problem wearing one with a list. having someone stare at my boobs and fat tummy would freak me out. I guess we could put it on the back. But then I would feel people staring at my back, creeping me out. LOL!

Thank you. Certainly something to think about.

Carla Swafford said...

LOL! Cari, that last one reminded me of another list I did in 2006. You can copy and paste this link...


Carla Swafford said...

The obits?! Oh, my. LOL!

Thanks, Christine.

Carla Swafford said...

Thanks, Mary. ::giggling::

Chris Bailey said...

Carla! LOL! I used to be such a peacemaker, and now I'll do anything to explore conflict.

Katherine Bone said...

Carla, this is hysterical!

You know you're a writer when you daughter has gone with her fellow cheerleaders to a ceramic do-it-yourself night and everyone stares. "Are you sure your mother is going to like that?" "Oh yes, she loves pirates!"