Tuesday, August 03, 2010

The Bucket List

What would you do if you only had sixteen months to live? That's the prognosis given to my son's father this afternoon.

Nothing prepares us to react to this type of news. Even though I have been divorced from this man for more years than I was married to him, it still has me reeling with all sorts of emotions. I am so sorry that he and his family are going through this. It will be a tough time for all concerned.

I struggled to find the words to tell my boy how bad I felt about this as he was dispassionately spouting the medical jargon concerning his dad's illness. I know he was in shock even though the doctor had told him to expect this. I can only hope my few, wholly inadequate words gave him some comfort.

As I hung up the phone I tried to imagine what I would do if faced with similar news. Would I compile my "bucket list"? Carry on as usual, ignoring what I faced, or, a combination of both?

I always try to live each day as if it were my last. Some days I do better than others in reaching this goal. This afternoon I found myself making my own "bucket list" and re-dedicating myself to enjoying what each day has to offer.

Lately, times have been tough financially since our business is tied to the economy. I have spent far too much time hoping for the return of a good economy, while failing to appreciate the blessings I have. I resolve not to spend any more time wishing for things in the future. The present is too precious to waste.

Do you have your own "bucket list"? Are you living in the present?


Piedmont Writer said...

Gosh, I'm so sorry, that's such awful news and even though you're not married to him, he's still a part of your life in one way or another.

I do not have a bucket list. My priorities changed after the birth of my daughter 5 yars ago. I'm 48 now, and the only thing on my bucket list is getting published and trying to make a living at writing.

Christine said...

Diane, I am so sorry to hear about your son's father. This is never easy to understand or comprehend. As for a bucket list--well, I try to live each day to the fullest while pursuing my dreams and raising my daughter. I know I am infinitely blessed and consider all I have a gift from a higher power.

Please know I am keeping you and your son and his father in my prayers.


Callie James said...

I'm so sorry, Diane. That is awful news. My personal bucket list has always been small.

1) Find the perfect man for me (done)

2) Make a living doing what I love (working on it)

I've realized something important about myself in the last year. I understand now that even if I was given a short time to live, I doubt I'd stop long to smell the roses. I'm a busy kind of person and I think that's what makes me happy. Odd that it took me forty-one years to realize that.

My prayers go to you and your son during this stressful time.

Jeanie said...

Diane, I'm so sorry about your ex. I know this must be so hard for everyone who knows and loves him.

My bucket is overflowing with blessings and I know it. Getting published has been a dream of mine for more than fifteen years and now it's finally happening! Now to make those deadlines. . .

You are in my prayers.

Kat Jones said...

I'm so sorry. My prayers are with you guys.

As to a bucket list, I don't really have one. But there is little doubt what I'd want to do; I'd spend every possible moment with my two little ones.

M.V.Freeman said...

My condolances, because its hard to get that diagnosis. I have experienced it first hand.

Bucket list? Honestly, I understand that each day is a gift. Sometimes I forget this.
Sure, I'd like to be published. That is my goal...but always, it is my friends and family that bring joy to my world.

I hope for you Diane, that the good moments are far more numerous than the sorrows.

Carla Swafford said...

16 months? If you really think of it, few people know when they're going to die and for that reason it's so important to not live with regrets. Apologize to those you feel you need to say I'm sorry. Tell people you love them, often. Help those when they need it if it's in your power to do so. And to always try to live a Godly life.

All of that doesn't minimize the pain of losing someone important or knowing when doesn't make it easier.

You never told us your Bucket List.

Mine? Like most of the people here, to become published is at the top with becoming a NYT best selling author. Go to Germany, Australia, and England. Go to a Broadway play. To watch a Nascar race in a skybox. That's just the beginning. :-)

Cari Hislop said...

That's really sad about your exhusband! That's my nightmare. I'm a morbid soul so I tend to live thinking there's a sword hanging over my head, but this is a blessing as it helps put insignificant things in their place. Me and my husband rarely ever argue as we're too busy laughing.

I've accomplished quite a few of my big dreams, but I have quite a few left. I'd love to see my sister sing at Covent Garden and make a large fountain for my home town...the list goes on, but as long as I enjoy today it'll be enough.

I feel for you son! I hope he gets to spend some quality time with his father.