This year has been one of several “firsts” for me. My first request for a full manuscript. My first contract. My first book release. And my first negative review.
Ouch. The reader didn’t like my characters and isn’t sure she will read anything else by me. After wondering if maybe I had stolen her lunchbox on the playground when we were younger, I quickly did what any person would do…I became defensive. And then I started doubting my writing ability and questioning how I could have made the characters and the story better. Regardless that three other people had reviewed and really liked the book, I allowed the one negative comment to kick my confidence and joy of writing out from under me.
Now this self-doubt only lasted a few moments, but I was reminded of something that stayed with me much longer. Count it all joy. Everything—the good, the bad and the ugly—has purpose. The positive and the negative comments make me a stronger and more prolific writer. Both sharpen me—one just feels better than the other! But the negative accomplishes something the positive cannot. It reveals where I am. The bible cautions beware if all men speak well of you. I’ve always viewed that verse in a certain way. Now, as I’m experiencing these “firsts”, my eyes are opened to another aspect of it. If men only spoke good of us, how would we know we are strong enough to handle criticism? Would we be shipwrecked on the shores of self-doubt never able to find the courage or esteem to set sail once more? How would we discover whether our identity and joy is based on something more than our jobs? How would we find out that in the face of adversity we have the fortitude and strength to press forward? Yes, accolades uplift us, but it’s the disappointments that challenge us to rise in the first place.