Friday, August 07, 2009

THAT Question

In the past few weeks I've come head-to-head with something I've never had to face before in the years I've been a writer. As more people discover that I write romance, there is one prevailing question that is always asked: "How do you come up with the material for those scenes?" And it's almost always followed by a lascivious eye-wiggle.

So, I've come up with some responses just suitable enough for the smart alek who asks it:

1. With a cigarette and a smile.

2. I'm heavily into method research. I'm a hands-on kinda gal.

3. Why? Did you want to borrow my manual?

4. Strip poker. But, for those menage scenes? Naked Twister.

5. What scenes? The murder scenes? I usually just kill off the people who ask stupid questions.

6. *Question: "Why do you want to write that?" Well, the immaculate conception story was already taken, so I decided to think outside the box.

...and my favorite so far...

7. *Question: "What does your husband think?" The new head of Research & Development? Oh, he's enjoying his promotion quite well, thanks for asking.

Aren't I a stinker??

12 comments:

Jeanie said...

No, you are hilarious and something of a smarty pants, but not a stinker! Love all your come backs. You should write a story about woman who writes erotica but whose own love life is nonexistent and use these great zingers as the heroine defends her writing to her friends and family. Of course, in the book, she meets a hot guy and she gets to try out all her 'research' on him.

Laura Hayden said...

I don't quite write the same type of material, but I get the similar question, "Where do you get/do your research?" or "Do you need some help researching your books?" (insert lascivious smirk here) to which my answer is, "Why yes. My next book is a romantic suspense and I'm looking for someone to kill. Wanna volunteer?"

Karen Beeching said...

I love all of these!

Naima said...

Hold on, Jeanie...getting pen and paper...LOL!
That's an awesome idea! Can you imagine the dialogue in that book?? And the "research" I'd get to come up with?? Loving it!!

Naima said...

I'm metaphorically rolling on the floor laughing, Laura! That's hilarious! That'll teach you to open your mouth! LOL!

Naima said...

Thanks, Karen!
It seems like I'm adding to the list every day! LOL!

JoAnn said...

This may be a romance writers urban legend, but supposedly when some reporter asked Nora Roberts about "those scenes," her reply (with an appropriately arched brow) was "What? You don't LIKE sex?"

:-)

And, appropriately enough, my WV for this post is (drum roll, please): fooking

Hahahahaha!

Naima said...

Fooking??!! Priceless!!!

And, btw: I like sex!!
LOL!

Christine said...

Great post! I love it! And I've heard it all. Best thing I heard was at the conference: be proud about your chosen genre and embrace it head held high.

And here's another answer:

"I never reveal my sources." :D

Diane Richmond said...

If your website cover is any indication, you won't need a witty comeback, none will be needed. They'll be too busy looking to notice.

Carla Swafford said...

"How do you come up with the material for those scenes?"

I laugh and say, "What part of fiction do you not understand?"

LOL!

M.V.Freeman said...

I loved this post, very funny! I am not quick on the come backs, but I am taking notes here...:)