I've written 35,000 words and realized I wasn't being true to myself. Ouch.
Have you done that?
I was writing away, painfully, something that I thought "editors" and "agents" and those mysterious "others" would like to read. I was not writing what I liked..but by stars I was going to finish it.
After reading Karen Beeching's blog I realized what I had done--I squashed my inner voice that was telling me "Hey you dolt, this story is not working because you are not writing it correctly!"
It took a writing partner who has been working with me for the last 10 years to tell me gently, humorously, and truthfully--"This is not you".
Now, before I ramble on incoherently, you may ask, what was I writing? I was writing a romance, paranormal specifically. Problem is I don't write romance...oh, I read romance, I like it in my stories, but I don't write romance focused stories. I write suspense and adventure paranormals--ok, its called fantasy. I have to have an element of creepiness along with fully developed characters. Oh, I know you can do that in Romance, but the way I was approaching it was just not me --and you could tell.
That realization took the wind out of me.
I also breathed a sigh of relief. I finally understood why I was dragging my feet, why my hero was two dimensional, and the secondary characters were not fully fleshed out. Worse, I couldn't get a handle on my heroine. She was a voice that you could not relate to (I know I couldn't) who had no reactions other than, "oh!"--boring!
Now I am starting from this point on (right at 35,001) and finishing the story but in the style that is me. I am listening to that inner voice.
A side note: I finally have a website, it's a work in progress (especially after what I just wrote), but if you are interested here is the link: http://www.mvfreeman.com/