Today I rolled out of bed, blinked at the clock and nearly bawled because I couldn't afford that 15 extra minutes of sleep I desperately wanted. I threw on clothes that fit a wee bit tighter than they did the last time I wore them and that cute hairstyle I sported when I left the house evolved into a frizzy afro by the time I dashed through the rain.
My supervisor was tripping. I couldn't break for lunch because of the massive amount of work on my desk and on the drive home, I ended up behind every driver who procured their license through the want-ads. My daughter's name graced the "No Playtime" board--again. And my son wants to give his girlfriend a Christmas card. His girlfriend! He's only 9! So, once I'm home, I enter the one place in the house where I can find peace and solace--the bathroom--only to discover my daughter waggling her fingers at me from under the door before she proceeds to slide everything from my lost earring to her coloring book in the room with me.
So, I ask You, God, why me? If You blessed me with the gift to write, why not work it so we're a single-income family? That way I wouldn't have to work a 9 to 5 job and could concentrate fully on writing. Or, if I have to work , why can't it be simple and hassle-free? Why can't my children be the best behaved in the class, go to bed promptly at 8 pm without any argument and not notice the opposite sex until I'm ready for it. Like when they're 30. In other words, God, if You called me a writer, why didn't You make it easier for me to be one? Why allow so many obstacles, difficult situations and people in my life?
But, wait...I guess if I didn't have the job I wouldn't know how to deal with stress, deadlines and attitudes. My skin wouldn't be as thick. If I didn't have the obstacles I wouldn't know what it is to persevere. If not for the challenging situations squeezing me, I would never discover my faults that I need to work on. Sometimes only under extreme pressure can the layers of coal be burned away to reveal the diamond underneath. If not for my children's "precocious" natures, I would never learn not to take myself so seriously. I wouldn't have laughter.
You know what, God? Never mind. I appreciate every obstacle, because it teaches me patience. And through patience and perseverance, I am discovering experience and a strength of character I never knew I possessed. And, experience gives me hope. Hope that at the end of the day I'm a better person, wife, mother and writer. Thank you, God, for every bump as well as every victory.
You're awesome...and smart. I guess that's why You're You.